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If you have a laugh you’d like to share, send it to latterdaylaughs@meridianmagazine.com. Be sure to include your name, city and state (or country).
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National Treasure
At dinner we were discussing our high school senior’s class schedule. She said she was taking AP Government and AP US History because her patriarchal blessing said she "would be called upon to defend the Constitution." Her older brother suggested that perhaps she should have taken weight training instead, because the blessing might also mean that she ends up being a security guard at the National Archives.
Mark Matheson
Highland, Utah
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Early-Morning Gig
In their search to find someone willing to teach early morning seminary, the bishopric visited five different members one Sunday, including my very busy husband. When we heard a week later that someone had accepted the job, my husband said: “It’s like discovering the tumor is benign!”
Madelyn Francis
Brookings, South Dakota
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Somewhere Over the Rainbow
During Sharing Time one Sunday, the Primary leader asked why we have rainbows. An older child told about Noah and the ark. When she was finished, my 6-year-old son said: “Well, that’s the church reason. If you want the scientific reason, it’s because of….” And he went on to explain.
Madelyn Francis
Brookings, South Dakota
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Defenders of the Faith
A neighbor boy who is not a member of the LDS faith was over visiting with us one day. While sitting at the counter, he started looking around at the things on our walls. "You've got a picture of God on your wall," he said. I looked up to see that he was talking about the picture of Jesus that is hanging in the dining room. "Yes, I do have Jesus up on my wall," I confirmed. Seeing a picture of the First Presidency dressed in their suit and ties, the boy pointed and then said: "And there are God's lawyers!"
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Memorial Day
My sister and her husband were visiting family graves on Memorial Day with their two daughters. When they arrived at the graves of my grandparents, my niece Taylor pointed out that Grandfather died in 1983, long before she was born. Taylor asked what her great-grandfather looked like. Her mother said she would try to find a picture of him so she could see. Then my niece said: "Can't we just dig him up to see what he looks like?
Tammy Parker
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Clarification
At a recent testimony meeting, a 5-year-old girl stood up and bore her testimony. After mentioning everyone and everything she was thankful for, she ended with this: "I am especially grateful that our house has been much happier since our family stopped using the "S-word" and the "F-word." As the little girl proudly walked back to her seat, nobody could say a word. Needless to say, they were a little shocked by what the stake president's daughter had just said. Quickly, the red-faced stake president stood up, smiled shyly, and went to the podium: "I feel I should make a clarification as to what my daughter meant. In our house the S-word is shut-up and the F-word is fart."
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Valiant Young Souls
A few years ago, our family was preparing for church on the first Sunday of the new year. We were discussing which Primary class each of our kids would be attending for the year. Our eight-year-old son piped in, "I'm going to be a Violent 9!”
Rosie Ferguson
Herriman, Utah
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Trish Manwaring is an assistant editor of Meridian Magazine.
****
If you have a laugh you’d like to share, send it to latterdaylaughs@meridianmagazine.com. Be sure to include your name, city and state (or country).
****
National Treasure
At dinner we were discussing our high school senior’s class schedule. She said she was taking AP Government and AP US History because her patriarchal blessing said she "would be called upon to defend the Constitution." Her older brother suggested that perhaps she should have taken weight training instead, because the blessing might also mean that she ends up being a security guard at the National Archives.
Mark Matheson
Highland, Utah
****
Early-Morning Gig
In their search to find someone willing to teach early morning seminary, the bishopric visited five different members one Sunday, including my very busy husband. When we heard a week later that someone had accepted the job, my husband said: “It’s like discovering the tumor is benign!”
Madelyn Francis
Brookings, South Dakota
****
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
During Sharing Time one Sunday, the Primary leader asked why we have rainbows. An older child told about Noah and the ark. When she was finished, my 6-year-old son said: “Well, that’s the church reason. If you want the scientific reason, it’s because of….” And he went on to explain.
Madelyn Francis
Brookings, South Dakota
****
Defenders of the Faith
A neighbor boy who is not a member of the LDS faith was over visiting with us one day. While sitting at the counter, he started looking around at the things on our walls. "You've got a picture of God on your wall," he said. I looked up to see that he was talking about the picture of Jesus that is hanging in the dining room. "Yes, I do have Jesus up on my wall," I confirmed. Seeing a picture of the First Presidency dressed in their suit and ties, the boy pointed and then said: "And there are God's lawyers!"
****
Memorial Day
My sister and her husband were visiting family graves on Memorial Day with their two daughters. When they arrived at the graves of my grandparents, my niece Taylor pointed out that Grandfather died in 1983, long before she was born. Taylor asked what her great-grandfather looked like. Her mother said she would try to find a picture of him so she could see. Then my niece said: "Can't we just dig him up to see what he looks like?
Tammy Parker
****
Clarification
At a recent testimony meeting, a 5-year-old girl stood up and bore her testimony. After mentioning everyone and everything she was thankful for, she ended with this: "I am especially grateful that our house has been much happier since our family stopped using the "S-word" and the "F-word." As the little girl proudly walked back to her seat, nobody could say a word. Needless to say, they were a little shocked by what the stake president's daughter had just said. Quickly, the red-faced stake president stood up, smiled shyly, and went to the podium: "I feel I should make a clarification as to what my daughter meant. In our house the S-word is shut-up and the F-word is fart."
****
Valiant Young Souls
A few years ago, our family was preparing for church on the first Sunday of the new year. We were discussing which Primary class each of our kids would be attending for the year. Our eight-year-old son piped in, "I'm going to be a Violent 9!”
Rosie Ferguson
Herriman, Utah
****
Trish Manwaring is an assistant editor of Meridian Magazine.
****
If you have a laugh you’d like to share, send it to latterdaylaughs@meridianmagazine.com. Be sure to include your name, city and state (or country).
****
National Treasure
At dinner we were discussing our high school senior’s class schedule. She said she was taking AP Government and AP US History because her patriarchal blessing said she "would be called upon to defend the Constitution." Her older brother suggested that perhaps she should have taken weight training instead, because the blessing might also mean that she ends up being a security guard at the National Archives.
Mark Matheson
Highland, Utah
****
Early-Morning Gig
In their search to find someone willing to teach early morning seminary, the bishopric visited five different members one Sunday, including my very busy husband. When we heard a week later that someone had accepted the job, my husband said: “It’s like discovering the tumor is benign!”
Madelyn Francis
Brookings, South Dakota
****
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
During Sharing Time one Sunday, the Primary leader asked why we have rainbows. An older child told about Noah and the ark. When she was finished, my 6-year-old son said: “Well, that’s the church reason. If you want the scientific reason, it’s because of….” And he went on to explain.
Madelyn Francis
Brookings, South Dakota
****
Defenders of the Faith
A neighbor boy who is not a member of the LDS faith was over visiting with us one day. While sitting at the counter, he started looking around at the things on our walls. "You've got a picture of God on your wall," he said. I looked up to see that he was talking about the picture of Jesus that is hanging in the dining room. "Yes, I do have Jesus up on my wall," I confirmed. Seeing a picture of the First Presidency dressed in their suit and ties, the boy pointed and then said: "And there are God's lawyers!"
****
Memorial Day
My sister and her husband were visiting family graves on Memorial Day with their two daughters. When they arrived at the graves of my grandparents, my niece Taylor pointed out that Grandfather died in
1983, long before she was born. Taylor asked what her great-grandfather looked like. Her mother said she would try to find a picture of him so she could see. Then my niece said: "Can't we just dig him up to see what he looks like?
Tammy Parker
****
Clarification
At a recent testimony meeting, a 5-year-old girl stood up and bore her testimony. After mentioning everyone and everything she was thankful for, she ended with this: "I am especially grateful that our house has been much happier since our family stopped using the "S-word" and the "F-word." As the little girl proudly walked back to her seat, nobody could say a word. Needless to say, they were a little shocked by what the stake president's daughter had just said. Quickly, the red-faced stake president stood up, smiled shyly, and went to the podium: "I feel I should make a clarification as to what my daughter meant. In our house the S-word is shut-up and the F-word is fart."
****
Valiant Young Souls
A few years ago, our family was preparing for church on the first Sunday of the new year. We were discussing which Primary class each of our kids would be attending for the year. Our eight-year-old son piped in, "I'm going to be a Violent 9!”
Rosie Ferguson
Herriman, Utah
****
Trish Manwaring is an assistant editor of Meridian Magazine.
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