Cover photo by Larry Dallas. Garden by God and the late John Dallas

by Anne Perry

But still it is a marvellous thing to be able to travel distances so quickly and conveniently (relatively to horse and wagon!) and perhaps if I were at home all the time, I would not love it so much.

We had a photographer come from a magazine to take a lot of pictures.  If he likes them and they are used, I shall let you know about it.  But what a carry-on trying to get the garden right for him – not a weed in sight – and in two acres that is quite a job!  And then hoping and praying that the weather would be exactly what he needed – not too bright, not too dull.  But when he came, that seems to be what we had.

I had guessed that the first week in July would be the best for roses, and I was lucky, I guessed rightly.  They are absolutely breathtaking, mounds and bowers and seas of them - like a breaking wave of white and pale pink blossom over the arches and pergolas – the perfume of it all had to be experienced to be believed.  There were also peonies like dinner plates, and white pinks and carnations with a perfume to make you dizzy!

I looked at it all – the walls, the hidden garden with moon gates, the courtyard with fountain and pool, the lawn, the white garden, and thought, whatever yesterday was, or tomorrow brings – right now, this is perfect!  Look at it and print it on your eyes and your heart, be filled with gratitude for it, and revisit it in memory every time you wish to, or need to.

And I am so grateful for the earth and its glory.

My last lesson to teach in Relief Society was on feeling joy, and most of us agreed that flowers, the sea and many other things were universal gifts for all the senses which it would be a sin of omission not to enjoy, and in which to see the generosity of God.  He created them, at least in part for our happiness, how graceless it would be to pass by them without pleasure and acknowledgement of the gift.

Of course there were many other things to be grateful for and take joy in, but the lesson spoke a lot about physical beauty of all sorts, and I wanted to concentrate on the things which applied to everyone.  (I have nobody blind, deaf etc. in the class).  I am always very unhappy with lessons that are aimed at only one section, i.e. those with children, or grandchildren, or husbands etc.  I would hate it if it were directed only at those with rewarding and important careers!  Although I have NEVER heard them mentioned at all, let alone to be exclusive of others.  And we do have nurses and teachers most particularly, who do superb work, for those they barely know – not just their own families, whom it is natural to love.  As the Saviour said ‘If ye love those who love you, what reward do you have?  Do not the Pharisees as much?’  And we know what his opinion was of the Pharisees!

I am thinking particularly of one young woman in our branch who is single, and spends her time caring for those who have no one else to meet their sorest needs.  I think her work is blessed, and yet I have never heard her name spoken when people are handing out praise.  I must find a way to do so, without appearing to be patronizing.  It could so easily do more harm than good, and I have so much respect for her quiet, selfless service which barely receives acknowledgement – not that that is why she does it!

This Sunday I will be in London, working, but last Sunday was enough to feed me spiritually for the foreseeable future.  If I were good enough, it should last me the rest of my life!  It was on Gethsemane, and how we might feel were we able to see it in vision, and have some tiny perception of what it was like.

We can never know anything but the minutest fraction – that part which is on our personal grief, sin, failure, loneliness or pain.  Because it was there!  As was everyone else’s.  Sometimes we forget it was not only sins – and most of our griefs are not deliberate sin, they are lack of thought, ignorance of consequences, seeing only part of the picture, the part which reflects our own needs but not anyone else’s – and very often misunderstanding, wrong priorities, a failure to grasp a principle correctly and so getting things out of proportion.  I don’t know anyone who says to themselves – ‘I know this is wrong, but I’m going to do it anyway!’

Sometimes we say – ‘I know other people say it is wrong – ‘and we mean – ‘but I don’t agree!  To me it seems okay!  Sometimes that is honest – sometimes not.

So often our sins are not that we did what was wrong, but that we did not do what was right.  Perhaps we merely ‘passed by on the other side’.  We can put family first instead of God first – with the result that we can justify almost anything.  Some of the worst crimes in history have been committed in the name of family.  If you put God first, then all else will fall into its correct place – how could it not?  Only if God’s priorities are wrong!  And that, to me, is unthinkable.

Family first so often ends up meaning ‘and everybody else nowhere!  I’ll do what I want for my own, and if there is anything left, then others can have that.’

And there is a difference which can be desperately hard to define; between what those I love want – and what would be in their eternal good!  Often they are quite different – even opposites.  But then where does my stewardship end and their agency begin?  Not always an easy answer.

‘God first’ will lead the way to sorting it.

We moved from contemplating Christ in Gethsemane to thinking of the apostles asleep.  When He had asked them ‘Watch with Me’ – three times – and yet they slept.

One person suggested that with our wisdom of hindsight we would do far better.

I disagree.  Why they slept we do not know.  It may have been outside their power to do otherwise.  But apart from that, how often are we ‘asleep’ to the chances to ‘watch with’ someone in need?

So many desperate griefs cannot be altered.  Beloved people die; they are hurt, bereaved, fall into hardship, illness, loneliness, disillusion, and a score of bitter wounds.  We cannot remove the burden from them.  BUT we can be there to hold out a hand, simply to say ‘I am here’.

Christ did not say to the apostles, his friends, ‘Take this burden from me’ or even ‘carry part of it for me’ – he said ‘Watch with me’! – just be there.

We can be more awake to that – from this day on!

The week before that I was asked to speak at short notice, because someone was taken ill.  I love that challenge.  I usually have something prepared, just in case.  There was one I had thought on for a long time.

If you were given the opportunity to speak to General Conference for ten to fifteen minutes, just once in your life, what would you say?

In other words, what is your message to the world – if you have that long to speak – in your whole life?  What matters most in your belief, that you would pass it on to whoever is listening, within and beyond the Church?

I believe I know what I would say.  It is this:

“The plan of Salvation is the most precious and perfect gift that God has given the world, and perhaps many other worlds as well.  We are taught of the pre-existence, but we remember almost nothing of it.  We believe that in it we knew God, we understood the whole nature of our lives  and their purpose, and we accepted it with joy.  In that acceptance we included knowledge of our mission in this middle section of our lives, when we work on faith.

The progress of this mortal part is to learn all those qualities which we may have begun in the Pre-existence, but was not perfected.  Among them will be courage, generosity of spirit, patience, complete and utter integrity, gratitude, endurance with a high heart, with hope and gentleness, and above all compassion, the art and the gift to forgive, to love others with laughter and honour and joy in their success, their achievements, their fulfilment of the measure of their creation, and without unnecessary judgement of differences or failures, a magnitude, and kindness of spirit.

That is what we are here for!  If we learn a measure of these things we have had a successful life.  Whatever else we gain, if we do not learn what we need to – and it is different for each of us – then we have failed.  We might have beauty, fame, family, worldly and Church honours, but if we are not wiser and braver and kinder than when we came, then it was a wasted journey.

Have we learned how to nurture others, or only our own?  Have we learned how to face what we are truly afraid of, without evasion or blame to others?  Are we honest of word, and of thought?  Have we learned to avoid self-praise, unrighteous dominion (surely one of the very hardest!) envy, the need to be ‘centre stage’, how to admit it with grace when we are wrong, how to let someone else take the limelight and mean it when we praise them?

If someone else receives a high calling in the Church (or the world) which we think we could have filled better, do we realize that perhaps they NEED the lessons the calling will offer them, and we do not?  Perhaps the lesson we NEED is how to step back, take orders rather than give them, support another and follow rather than lead?  That is often a harder lesson to learn, especially to the able, and dare I say it – the proud!

Remember the whole of life is designed by a Father who loves us – not to give us ease, pleasure, reward here – but to teach us what we need to know in order to inherit joy that will never fade – not lifelong, but eternally long.

And I truly believe that whether this middle section of our life is one minute, or one century, you and I will be offered the chances, maybe more than once, to learn all we need to know.  The art is to TAKE them!  Use them, with trust in Him who gave us them, trust His love and His wisdom – don’t envy others – He doesn’t love some and not all – and seek for the lesson in the experience and use it!  Learn!

A couple of examples – we need to nurture.  If you have children, there is your lesson.  If you don’t, it will be offered in another way.  The world is full of those who need love.  If you want to, you will certainly find them.

If you wish to learn how to use authority well, and NEVER abuse it - Church callings will give you the opportunity, so will life in many other guises.  The only thing that matters is LEARN – and trust God that you will be given EVERYTHING you need!  Just maybe not all you think you want.

Our vision is short – God’s is forever.

Until next month.                      

                   

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