Before you have finished reading this opening sentence chances are that you will have judged me. You have made a pre-determination about me that will color how seriously you take the rest of this article. Maybe you have determined that I am too blonde, too young, too old, too conservative, not conservative enough, I talk too fast, I wear too much pink, (it’s true, I do), etc. But most likely you have decided whether or not to like me based merely on the fact that I am not married.
It is true. Singles get judged more than anyone else. Yesterday I told someone about a new friend I made. I had explained that he owns a beautiful home, he’s generous, kind, a very gracious host, and just an all-around great man.
The response? “He’s still single? What’s wrong with him?”
Because, obviously, if he’s “still” single he couldn’t possibly be just a normal, decent, nice guy.
I wonder how often people say the same exact thing about me? “She’s still single? What’s wrong with her?”
I’m sure there are no researched statistics on how often singles get disregarded just for being unmarried. But we all know it is true.
The world is actually set up to unintentionally discriminate against singles. It doesn’t make much sense, because if you think about it, we were all born single.
That reminds me of a funny story. A few years ago I was in the process of getting approved to be a foster parent- as a *gasp* single woman. One day I got a phone call from a state agency that will remain nameless letting me know that I had forgotten to fill out the side of the page with my husband’s information on it, and had not sent in a marriage certificate. I explained I was not married. The state employee replied, “Well, then we need a copy of your divorce certificate, and we still need this info on him.”
I explained, “I’m not divorced.”
I kid you not there were crickets on the other end of the line. Total silence. She was speechless.
“Huh? What?”
“I’m not married and never have been.”
Her reply will forever be burned into my mind. “We’re going to need proof of that!”
Are you kidding me? (In case you doubt my sarcasm, I really and truly did respond to her, “I don’t have proof of that. I was born that way!” I may have blown the poor girl’s mind!)
Why do people judge the singles just for being single? Why do they assume there *must* be something wrong with us?
To follow up on the conversation about my new friend above, I replied, “There is nothing wrong with him.” My person then said, “Well then why isn’t he married yet?”
I admit, I was in a sassy mood. I responded, “Probably for the same reason as me. He just hasn’t met the right one yet. Unless, of course, you think there is something wrong with me. Feel free to enlighten me.”
I will keep this short and to the point. Don’t judge people based on their marital status. It is silly and useless. If you judge me based solely on what men are not in my life, I can promise you you are missing out on the important things- like what I do with my life. What is important is not who is not in our life, but what we choose to do with our life, regardless of who is or is not in it.
Erin Ann McBride is a writer, dreamer, and blogger. Check out her new novella, The Agency, on Amazon and Barnes and Noble for just 99 cents! You can find her daily at The Story of a Nice Mormon Girl and at SwingStateVoter.com.
