The "trauma" that follows drowning your smart phone....
Sometimes it doesn't take much for confidence to drop....
The greatest part about a two year old’s psyche is that with all this lack of inhibition and blatant disregard for social nor...
I immediately throw away those tiny super bouncy balls you find in goodie bags because they look like the perfect choking hazar...
11 steps to planning, executing, enjoying, and surviving a vacation without your children. ...
The next time a well-meaning soul sees me with my brood of kids and tells me these days will just fly by, they will win an hour...
Proper nouns I will not be bestowing upon my unborn child: Maverick, Turbo, Buck (short for Buck-a-roo), Blaze, Bilbo, or Vin- ...
I wish I could say this afternoon was my first caterpillar funeral, but unfortunately, it was not. ...
Pop Quiz: When Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver travels to the land of the Lilliputians, which of Gulliver’s personal effects do t...
This is the first time in years I’ve attempted to write an article while all my children are at home and still awake, (not ev...
After the excitement of Christmas and before the fun of Valentine's chocolates begins, I have started a tradition to combat the...
If I had round-the-clock video surveillance inside my home, you would see me consuming at least two BLTs a day, extra mayo, bec...
What does a fire breathing dragon named Darcy have to do with Christmas traditions? Everything....
Adventurous. That’s what I needed to prove to my eleven year old son on this trip. Mom is indeed still adventurous. But could...
Fatdog: fat-dog. Verb. 1.) To laze about in a soporific slumber, especially after consuming a large meal. 2.) To resemble t...
When I feel overwhelmed by conflicting theories on how to create the flakiest crust ever, or whether meringue is worth it, I li...
I thought the day would be all “Little House” snug and log-cabin-cozy. I assumed we’d sing songs by the hearth and organi...
I overheard Dora the Explorer tell my kids about some obstacle right in front of her that she would have to somehow overcome. T...
I knelt down on the carpet of leaves, anxious to zoom in on the action and preserve those cherubic cheeks, punctuated by twinkl...
Many of the best things in life are little. Teeny tiny. Itsy bitsy. Teensy weensy. Maybe that’s why we have so many cute phra...
“Mom, could you make me some Cock-a-doodle soup?” “Some what?” “You know. Some Cock-a-doodle soup.” “Oh...Cup-o-N...
I hate to use the phrase "simpler times" because having to make your own soap out of a pig's carcass and ashes doesn't sound si...
Maybe it's because I'm determined to make my life harder than it really needs to be. Or maybe I'm just romanticized by the whol...
Years ago, when my oldest was four, he had a plush horsie backpack that he wore religiously to preschool. He didn't have big br...
“Just” is embedded into the text of almost every instructional blog these days. “Just pipe the red icing to create delica...
My 4 year old tapped his toe, waiting for his cookies to come out of the oven. I looked forward to the cookies too, but even mo...
School starts tomorrow. Tomorrow. Which means– We did it! We got through 94 days of summer vacation, no worse for the wear (...
My poor, poor baby. In just the last 72 hours my one year old has fallen off the kitchen table (cut above her right eye), walke...
"All there is to do around here is read or play! Hmph!"...
Focus on the positive, no criticisms whatsoever, and keep at it for 30 days. That’s the goal. This is what happens when you g...
I don’t know the 17-year-old swimming phenom Missy Franklin from Adam, but I cried when she won that gold medal as if I were ...
Our 15 month old likes to have her slender fairy-like 20 pound figure scooped up in her big brother's arms, and floated down th...
I love getting forwarded those emails featuring long laundry lists of helpful hints and tips to try. Here are a few helpful hin...
Children sloshed copious amounts of cereal all over the kitchen. When the husband came home and drank in the disastrous scene b...
I had to illustrate my point to the children, so I found the scene in the middle of Gone With The Wind during Scarlet O'Hara's ...
I have been able to solve a number of problems with a little help from Mr. Google and Mrs. Youtube lately. We’ve been able to...
I can't tell you how relieved I am to know my job as a mother is not up for reelection. Finicky voters don't reelect people who...
"Andy, put that away!" I hissed. "Church is not the place to pore over that darn Lego catalog for the hundredth time! I'm serio...
I feel like such a fraud checking out with my cage-free eggs and organic kale and then having to say, “Yes, plastic bags will...
My husband’s ingenious solution to the (dramatic pause) Lego Problem. (Lego connoisseurs know what I'm talking about.)...
“Where was the last place you had it?” “The Lazy-boy. Check the Lazy-boy!” Then my three year old piped up with, “M...
All combed and coiffed, pressed and polished, we moseyed up to our building ON TIME for once...only to be greeted by a vacant p...
“I sure do like your shirt. Where did your mommy buy it?” “At Old Lady.” -my nephew, age 3...
All aboard! Summer is waltzing up the gangplank and I need to get prepared! After a pow-wow with my children, we've created a f...
Is that hardened chocolate syrup smeared across the baby's high chair tray? Why is there silverware scattered along the hallway...
There are no performance reviews, raises, or opportunities for promotions for us moms, so we need to bask in little victories w...
I've lost my keys and a library DVD. I'm convinced somewhere out there someone is watching my library DVD wondering why those k...
As a reward for good behavior, my daughter's class was allowed an "electronics party," where the kids could bring video games t...
"Are you my mommy?" Who in the world stashed this book into the nursery cupboard! Let's discuss that and other lessons learned ...
According to Time magazine, all parents have a favorite child. Do I have a favorite child? Yes, I do, but which child it is cha...
This isn't advice you'll hear from Dr. Sears or read on baby center.com--don't get mad, rather feign madness! It works!...
My husband gets to take clients out to dinner and order in room service while I stay behind because I am the room service, maid...
During the closing hymn,my daughter handed me a note. Apparently, quite a few atrocities flew under my radar during the past ho...
"What were you going to do if a boy did ask you to be their Valentine?" "Well, I just wanted to be able to say 'No!'" Ah, there...
I’m not so sure those weapons buried in the Book of Mormon weren’t buried by frustrated mothers who were sick and tired of ...
There is something almost tangible about watching children on film. I felt as though I could reach back through time and pinch ...
With fresh varnish fumes still stinging their eyes, they've declared that the 5oz. creation in their hands will go down in the ...
What I say to my Mom on our Sunday night visits....
There is no such thing as a bad baby, but some are—shall we say—high maintenance....
Flip-flop is one of those expressions that bothers me, (kinda like “I could care less” when what you really mean is you cou...
It's a 30 day holiday, you know. A full 30 days of eating too much, buying too much, and sleeping too little....
My baby is actually under doctor’s orders to gain weight!...
It’s 11:30 at night, dishes and I just ordered a whopping 100 personalized Christmas cards from Costco.com even though I stil...
I have a hard time believing the economy is still slow when the lot set of used Star Wars Galactic Heroes I was following on Eb...
I cried tears of joy when I heard that big boxy furnace finally purr to life after nearly 72 hours of icy silence. Tears....
And so it begins...The turkey's been picked clean, the tree is up, the decorations are on, and I've already received several te...
I asked the children how they would feel about a real, authentic Plymouth Rock feast this year...complete with stewed eels, cod...
“You’re so beautiful,” I tell my child, to which he answers, “I know.”...
I will never look at snow the same way again....
It’s a big day when your youngest finally learns to sleep through the night....
A cold-hearted mother who relegates precious artwork to the trash wants to know if she is not alone....
Somebody has to carry children to term, feed them, rock them, sing them to sleep and get them to the fun part of their lives.Th...
King Benjamin’s people had nothing over this Mom with a tent at conference time....
The first two years of motherhood are eerily reminiscent of the two years of another common activity....
“Welcome to how 90% of the rest of the world eats,” we told our children at the dinner table. Sitting in front of them was ...
Maybe I was being naive. I thought that when we canceled the cable, our evenings in the living room would transform into a cros...
Judging by today's title, you might assume today’s column is going to be about my varicose veins....
What did we do before DVD players in cars?...
Ear buds are blossoming everywhere at my house, but not conversation....
I didn't find out until I was an adult that my mother threw a back-to-school celebratory brunch for the neighborhood moms on th...
Oh, how can I get those 11 year old boys to sing!?...
My mother always says, "My house looks fabulous if I don't have my glasses on."...
To Barbie, or not to Barbie. That is the question....
I know it was super hot and muggy in that cramped, stifling room in Philadelphia, but I am so glad the founding fathers pounded...
My mother is a wonderful, self-appointed editor. She takes it upon herself to fix all my theirs and there’s....
"Fine! Then I won't invite you to my birthday party!"-- I'm the one throwing your birthday party....
Hovering is a very tricky craft. Every parent hovers to some extent. We have to. It’s in the job description....
I've found that when people bring you a meal, they bring you their best--pull out all the stops creation....
In the grand scheme of things, a bad hair day may not be the worst thing, but it feels like it....
When prices get in a 3-digit range, my palms get all sweaty and I can't seem to commit....
If my perpetual mounting mass of laundry could be compared to Mt. Everest, then our master bedroom is definitely its Base Camp....
How hard can gardening be? After all, in kindergarten I planted seeds in Styrofoam cups....
Wonderful things happen from the perch of a rocking chair....
Ready to deliver, Margaret has found a cartoon character she resembles....
I can diffuse many a pickle by simply putting an age limit on the matter. ...
Remnants of the snacks from last summer’s trip may still be lurking in your toddler’s car seat....
There’s a predictable cycle of events that happen when your child get’s sick—coming to a head when they dramatically call...
Just when we were taking trips to the park again. Just when I was wearing my sandals again...Snow....
At the moment I am pouring over baby name books and family histories, trying to conclude with certainty the most fabulous name ...
What ever happened to good, old-fashioned manners?...
I’ve found a great, new way to clean the house—if I don’t run out of brownie mix....
Once when my daughter came home from a play date, she said she didn’t enjoy herself because their house was too messy!...
As it turns out, our parental lectures have not fallen on deaf ears....
I have a love-hate relationship with my sons’ favorite toys—Legos—because they are eye-popping, jaw-dropping, brain-blowi...
No matter how much you try to please the palate of a child, it can be a no-win situation....
The TV is broken and now is the great debate—to go tv-less or not....
Motherhood is like one very long, very unpaid internship from heaven....
My daughter has a new maid. He's four, he’s fast, and he'll clean her room for the low, low price of a sticker....
Possession is nine tenths of the law. To put it in more technically correct legal terms: "I had it first!!"...
Right now I have the same feeling I had back when my husband and I were on the Body for Life program....
"You know, funny thing about getting fat is..." "Pregnant, honey. The word is pregnant....
Secrets at Christmas time are tough for little ones to keep....
My sweet, darling baby boy has learned the words “NO!” and “UUGH!” and “MINE!”...
I’m determined not to give in to an electronic Christmas this year....
It's happened. I've joined the world of the electronically living....
If you had taken a good look at my children during church last Sunday, you would’ve noticed that my four-year-old was sportin...
There is a Picky Eater Monster who dares to haunt my kitchen table night after night....
My daughter got a pet. It's my kind of pet. It has batteries....
A family tradition may seem like a pain in the neck to Mom, but it can be the best night in a young child's life. ...
What is lurking in your refrigerator? Do you have the courage to find out?...
What some Latter-day Saint wives fear is a husband who’s a true-blue Cougar fan....
Some way or another, about once a month, in the still of the night, all four kids manage to sneak under the covers of our Calif...
"No, Mom. We're sick of giving 'poor man presents.' Why can't we buy him that big Star Wars Lego set he really, really wants?"...
How did elementary school age kids already become so body conscious? At that age I can remember eating king-sized Snickers bars...
When it comes to raising children, what goes around comes around, so they say. Whatever grief you gave your parents, you can ex...
One photo tells it all. The baby with the innocent blue eyes is not such a baby anymore....
I love camping—or at least I thought I did until all the children wanted to share my mummy bag in the middle of the night....
"But Mom! Is it ever okay to hit? What about fighting bad guys?"...
My four-year-old just spilled a 44-ounce berry smoothie all over everything--including the carpet....
From her six-year-old: "Oh, I'm so glad I don't ever have to get a real job!"...
I have finally figured out why there is no mommy-thon....
My husband is coming home today! Time to muster the heavy artillery—like the vacuum, mop and the bleach....
There is something therapeutic about making home made bread—you can punch it as much as you want to. ...
The dues of the best club in the world don't consist of money, but dirty diapers and boogie wipes....
