I was hoping there would be a chapter illuminating how one sloppy teen-age boy forgot his belt one day and wore his pants at half mast and caught the attention of someone influential and started a trend.  I am learning a lot from this book and I am contemplating starting my own trend, as soon as I come up with something I consider worthwhile.  In the meantime, I wondered if some of the principles in the book can be applied in regular ordinary ways, not to spark a new fashion trend or sell shoes but merely to make life better.

Here are a few things I thought of that each of us could do to make life better for ourselves and those around us.

Smile

Smiles are contagious.  Sometimes when I smile at people, the passing fellow-traveler sort of smile, the return smile looks more like a twitch or a grimace, expending the least possible energy, as social convention requires a return gesture.  Other times I am rewarded with a genuine smile that has staying power.  I’m not saying we should all go around grinning like loons, but I always think it is a fun game to walk down the street and see how many genuine smiles I can generate.  One of the hardest things for me was when we were in Morocco and my husband told me that in that culture I should not make eye contact with men.  I realized then in trying not to how often I do smile at people and make eye contact. 

Walking onto a plane I often look at people and if I catch their eye, I smile.  I remember seeing the somber or preoccupied faces of people on my plane from Phoenix and wanting to say, “Smile, you’re headed to Hawaii!”  Smiling is contagious.  Infect someone.

Make Good Decisions

Yesterday I listened to a program on Oprah where she talked with an author who is the daughter of a serial killer.  While I am plugging books, hers is called Shattered Silence and though this did not come up in the interview, she is now a member of the Church.  Her book was published locally by Cedar Fort.  Even though it took a sensational subject, it is good to have an LDS author featured on Oprah.  Anyway, the point I was going to make is that an additional guest was a lady who got away from the serial killer.  Dr. Phil, also guesting on the show, was compelled to ask her the obvious.  “Why did you get in his car and go with him in the first place?”  This question begged an answer even more because she had a baby with her. 

One good decision can change what might be a horrible outcome.  Not driving while distracted by a cell phone or hamburger could mean life or death to someone.

Using good judgment in your social contacts can make a world of difference to your future.

Exercising and eating better can add years to your life and improve the quality of your life.

Most of us as adults can look back on at least one bad decision and wish we could have a do-over.  Whether you wish you hadn’t stopped piano lessons or wish you had been smart enough to listen to a wise piece of advice, that ship has sailed.  But there are more ships in the harbor with many destinations.  Which journey to embark on is our choice.  True, we cannot always know the outcomes, but sometimes with a little forward thinking, we can ask:  “What consequences might this decision bring to me or others?”

Change an Attitude or a Habit

Are you judgmental and critical?  Are you morose and downtrodden?  Are you self-righteous?  Pick one, just one, and put it in the discard pile.  Take that bad attitude to the dump and drop it off.  Think of it as an experiment.  Pick the one thing people least expect you to change and watch their expressions.  I have an aunt who is very critical.  No matter what someone says, she finds something wrong with it.

Having an outdoor wedding reception?  “What if it rains?  Your dress will get all muddy.”

Sending your first child to kindergarten?  “He just made the deadline.  You should keep him home another year.”

Wearing yellow.  “You know yellow makes you look like death warmed over.”

I can only imagine what would happen if just once I told her my plans and she said something positive.  Blow someone away by being pleasant or a good listener or upbeat and optimistic. 

Carry reminders notecards if you need to.  Give yourself a tick mark every time you remember to change your behavior.  I often carry 3 x 5 cards with reminders on them.  Sometimes if I am going through a situation where I know people will say certain predictable things to me, I carry a list of succinct but polite responses.  (Okay, maybe sometimes more sarcastic than polite, but I usually try to have at least one polite comeback on the list.)

Forgive Someone

Let go.  My son has always been helpful to just remind me “Let it go, Mom.”    Sometimes we hold our grudges because we worry that if we don’t, the charges have been dropped.  Remember that the wheels of justice turn slowly.  When we are truly able to let go of past hurts and leave justice in the hands of The One who will judge righteously, we lighten our own burdens and the burdens of those around us who have to listen to our litany of complaints and offenses.

One thing we can do is become an agent of change.  If you were abused as a child, find a way to be a resource for good.  Volunteer to help at a shelter.  Enlighten school teachers what signs to look for in a battered child.  Do something positive to help you let go off the negative.  As you turn a trial for good, it loses some of its sting and you are better able to put it in perspective.

One of the tests I give myself is whether I can describe something that happened without experiencing the same negative emotions I did at the time.  If I am able to describe something calmly and rationally, I know I am making progress toward letting go.  Take notice next time you describe something negative and use your emotions as a gauge to see how you are doing at letting go. 

Small things really do make a big difference.  If none of these things work for you, you can always start wearing purple kneesocks with knickers and see if it catches on.