We added a huge room onto our bedroom to serve as his library, but it isn't enough. Most of the aisles between the shelves are piled so high with books that passage is impossible. I feel it is a health hazard and a fire hazard. I've offered to work with him or even to do it for him. He becomes irrational when the subject is brought up--hyperventilating, yelling, then getting so worked up he can't even speak.
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When I married my husband almost 30 years ago, I expected him to oversee our finances and to make wise decisions about money. Whenever we hit the wall financially, my husband would take money out of his 401K to pay for things. He also took his social security early. I don't want to approach my 80's with barely anything to live on.
One of the most important parts of transitioning into lovemaking is developing the mental discipline to close down the many mental windows open in a woman's mind. A woman must be able to "turn off," in order to be able to "turn on!" Given the extra steps women generally need to be able to get to a state of genuine interest in connecting sexually, "Bridges to Desire" may be helpful.