My husband and I have been married for 35 years. For many years our intimate life was one where I felt forced to do it out of duty. It caused me to feel violated and now I don't even want any affection from him.
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We added a huge room onto our bedroom to serve as his library, but it isn't enough. Most of the aisles between the shelves are piled so high with books that passage is impossible. I feel it is a health hazard and a fire hazard. I've offered to work with him or even to do it for him. He becomes irrational when the subject is brought up--hyperventilating, yelling, then getting so worked up he can't even speak.
I have two best friends who are currently having affairs and haven’t told their wives. They are confiding in me about their lives in texts and emails. My wife knows these guys and their wives so she can't know, but she's becoming suspicious that I’m the one cheating now that I won’t let her have access anymore to my email and texts.
Couples need to take a multi-dimensional view in addressing issues of intimacy. We can get the mechanics of it right, but it's the emotion behind it and spirit of it that we want to get right as well. We're often looking for a "heart" change, not just behavior change to improve the relationship in the bedroom.
I married someone very different than I am. We even joked from the beginning that we were a bird and a fish who fell in love. He is an Alaska-grown, wilderness-loving mountaineer and I? Well, I’m an actress and a writer and I love museums and history and art. So. how do a bird and a fish find anything to do together?
Your Hardest Family Question: My husband wants to take our intimacy in a direction that makes me uncomfortable
We’ve been married for 14 years and I feel like we’ve had a good marriage. I discovered that my husband was looking up advice articles on “spicing up” sex in marriage, but what he was reading was offensive to me.
I don’t see my new husband making any real efforts to connect with his children or grandchildren. He's asked me to keep in touch with them. I don’t feel like the family wants me in that role, but he wants me to act like their mother in this way. What is my responsibility here?