My mother is a schoolteacher and during the summers she likes to travel across the country to visit family for a month or so. Sometimes my children and I go with her, but this year she only wants my children to come with her.
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The reason adolescents join gangs is that they need this larger identity. The reason they want to follow a certain style or behave in a particular way is that they have an inherent need to be part of something larger than themselves--That “thing,” of course, should be family.
I’m pretty close to my siblings, but when something happens that hurts someone or one of our kids, there is a lot of explaining and defending, but no apologies. I am often left feeling like nothing ever gets resolved and there are still hard feelings below the surface. I want there to be actual peace, not just damage control.
National surveys show that 82% of Baby Boomers with grandchildren think being a grandparent is the single most important and satisfying thing in their life. And the percentages would certainly be even higher in the Church. But thinking that and knowing what to do about it are two different things.
I feel an obligation to keep them in the loop, but is that my ex-husband’s job to keep our kids connected to his family now that we’re divorced? I don’t want to create any more divisions than have already been created with this divorce.