M E R I D I A N     M A G A Z I N E

Helping Children Cope with Disaster
By Carolyn Nicolaysen

As all who watched the horror of it all, I remember exactly where I was when the Twin Towers were attacked on 9-11.

I turned on the television as I stepped on the treadmill and could not believe what I was witnessing. I called to my husband as I watched the second plane fly into the second tower. It was then that I knew we
were at war. I didn't know with whom, but I knew this was an attack.

My husband dressed and left to pick up our son from early morning eminary to talk to him before taking him on to school. As I continued to watch, a plane flew into the Pentagon. It was then I phoned Don and
we decided our son should come home to be with us.

Matt and I spent the day watching the news, talking about what it all meant and crying together. As I spoke with friends, it soon became apparent that even he youngest children had experienced a sense of danger and loss.

Disasters can leave children feeling frightened, confused, and insecure. Whether a child has actually experienced the disaster, seen the event on television, or heard it discussed by adults, it is important for parents to be informed and remain alert to mood changes and other behavioral changes in the children around them.

Children may respond to stress by demonstrating fear, sadness, aggression, separation anxiety, or a disconnect from reality. Infants can experience trauma. Even though they do not have the words to
describe the event or their feelings, they may retain memories of sights, sounds, or smells.

Toddlers may revert to earlier behaviors, such as bed-wetting, sleep problems, and thumb sucking. They may display signs of insecurity and need to be cuddled. Older children may become angry, display
aggression, bully, develop problems at school, change eating habits, or withdraw.

Most children's reactions to disasters are short-lived, but they should always be addressed and taken seriously. Even after immediate dangers have passed, a child may be left wondering if life will ever be the same. Children may wonder where they will live, if they will see their friends again, what they will wear, what will happen when they return to school without their homework, if they will be safe when dad leaves for work, or even if dad will still have a job.

For children who have directly experienced a disaster, reminders of the disaster such as high winds, the smell of smoke, cloudy skies, emergency sirens, a flooded street, power outages,or even a storm
warning on television may cause feelings of fear.

A child's response to a disaster is directly related to the ways in which the adults around them, especially parents, cope with the events. Although it may not be immediately apparent, children are aware of an adult's fears and sadness. Parents should:

  • Involve children in disaster preparations ahead of time. Formulate a plan and discuss it as a family, often.
  • Assemble a 72-hour kit for every child in the family. Have children choose clothing, a few small toys, a book and paper and pencils or crayons for their kits. Having a few familiar items will greatly reduce a child's stress.
  • Remain calm. Don't race around grabbing items to evacuate and ignore a crying child. Don't drive erratically trying to beat a light or a neighbor out of the driveway. Remember nothing is more important than your children. Everything else can be replaced or done without. Would grandma really want her grandson crying while you search for her wedding ring?
  • Talk, talk, talk. Your children will need to voice their fears. Admit that you are afraid too but remind them that you are all together and you will help each other. As you talk, you can clarify any misunderstandings and questions. Answer all questions honestly and admit when you don't know the answer. Keep answers short and simple. Children will let you know when and if they need more information.
  • Be prepared when you evacuate. See Meridian article, “Prepare to Evacuate!” (http://www.meridianmagazine.com/) Take familiar music to play in the car, be prepared with favorite snack, and bring along books and games to pass the time on the road. Make your evacuation trip as normal as possible, like a vacation trip!
  • Hug and touch your children. This simple act will reassure children or adults that you are aware of them and their needs.
    • When you return home spend extra time at bedtime to talk, read, sing, just allow time so they will feel free to share their feelings.
  • Get back to a normal routine as soon as possible. Even when you are evacuated you can continue your normal bedtime and bedtime routine. Arrange play dates and restablish contact with family and friends. Limit your child's exposure to media reports and discussions concerning the emergency.
  • If there is cleaning up to do, give each child a responsibility. Children need to feel needed and a part of the solution.
    • When the time is appropriate, evaluate your evacuation experience together. Decide what worked, what didn't work and what you should change in case you ever have another emergency.
  • Use your support network. Since children are concerned about upsetting you, they will often feel more comfortable talking to a grandparent, teacher, or bishop. Seek professional help. Do not assume you can always handle your child's fears and doubts. Children as well as adults often need help to identify the underlying cause of their confusion and concerns.
  • Remember preparing for disaster ahead of time helps everyone accept the fact that disasters happen. When people feel prepared, they cope better and so do their children. After all, preparing for whatever comes is not just about the 72-hour kit, the food storage, or the evacuation plan. It's about your peace of mind, your emotional well-being, and your spiritual preparation, too.

© 2007 Meridian Magazine.  All Rights Reserved.