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Sign up to receive the Family Leader email updates by clicking here. Volunteer to help by sending an email to RoseMarie Briggs at rkbriggs@verizon.net

Some years ago Scot had a dream that was so vivid to me, I still think it was mine.  He awoke to tell me that in his dream we were standing by the window in a large, multi-story glass building, crowded with people.  The windows were floor to ceiling and from our vantage point we had a perfect view of a vast plain, stretched out before us.  But what we saw was terrifying, harrowing.  We trembled when we saw the unforgettable scene — for there coming toward us with the speed of a runaway locomotive were tornadoes. 

This was not one tornado, but 28 of them, ferocious with fury, black and churning, all barreling our direction as if they had heat-seeking sensors.  They demolished everything in their path, eating up the landscape, sucking up the fields, leaving a wasteland behind them.

These were not the kind of tornadoes you see recorded in documentary films; they were other-worldly monsters that were converging upon us.  We were dead, unless we moved quickly.

The hall where we stood was filled with knots of people and so we immediately ran to warn everyone in the building to head for the cement shelter in the basement.  We rushed from one cluster of people to the next, shouting and gesturing toward the window.

“Look what’s coming.  Head for shelter.”  Our voices were panicked, urgent.

Nobody moved.  They were engaged in conversation or absorbed in their own tasks.  They were turned away from the window caught up in their lives.  They were on cell phones, checking their planners, glancing at watches.  We wondered if they were deaf, because though our pleas were insistent, they hardly turned to acknowledge us.  Those who did listen to us, waved their hands and turned away — like, “Don’t bother me now.”

We turned back to the window and now the tornadoes were nearly upon us. We made one last try, grabbing people’s arms, pointing toward the black fury before us.  Nobody would come or pay attention.

At last with no recourse, we seized our family members and headed for the cement shelter just as shards of glass began flying. 

Much on My Mind

The image of this dream is often upon my mind lately, and I’ll tell you why.  Frequent Meridian readers will have surely noted that we seem to be running on the magazine many articles about what’s happening to marriage.  Sometimes I have wondered if readers say to themselves, “Meridian is certainly obsessed with marriage,” or, “Haven’t we heard enough about marriage protection amendments?”

But for those who understand how marriage is being eroded, it’s like standing at the window in the glass building and seeing the tornadoes descend. We really want to get your attention before it’s too late and understand how serious the threat is to our nation if marriage is not protected.

The threat of terrorism, the cost of healthcare, the price of gas are all important — but nothing, absolutely nothing, will have a longer-term affect on our society and the rising generation than the gradual disappearance of marriage.

You may think that “threat” is a strong word or that I am being overdramatic here.  Perhaps you like the word “calamity” better.

The prophets and apostles said in The Family: A Proclamation —

We warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

The First Presidency has specifically issued a statement in favor of constitutional amendments protecting marriage. They said: “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints favors a constitutional amendment preserving marriage as the lawful union of a man and a woman.”

When a constitutional amendment protecting marriage was before the Senate this year, they sent a letter to be read over the pulpit asking Church members to contact their senators and express their opinion.

I’m sure you must know how exceedingly rare that is.

Surprising

Even with these clear statements from our Church leaders, we are always surprised at how slow Latter-day Saints are to get involved in the battle to save marriage.  (Even sometimes, slow, we understand, to register to vote and then vote in elections.)

I have wondered why.

Is it because we are waiting to be told more specifically from the Church or our leaders that this is important?  How much more specific could they be? Do we want them to set up a campaign, print literature and tell us where to be?  The Church is about other things.  

Is it because we are apathetic or too busy, or both?   Do we think that somebody else will take care of this — you know, one of those people who are really into politics or has nothing but time on their hands?  There is surely somebody out there who will protect marriage, if I don’t.  Don’t kid yourself.  Who are these mythical others who can do so much that you can’t?

Is it because we think any smart person would support marriage and it really can’t be in any danger?  Groups opposing marriage protection are pouring millions of dollars into campaigns against these amendments.  Most newspapers in these states have come out against the marriage protection amendments.  Right now polls show razor thin leads in passing marriage amendments in Arizona 52%, Colorado 52% and Virginia 54%. In two states marriage amendments are in serious danger of NOT passing. Polls in Wisconsin report 48% of citizens voting yes on the marriage amendment and in South Dakota a bleak 41%.

Is it because we are scared that to stand up for what has become a highly sensitive subject?  Could you have ever imagined a world where it would become hate speech to say that a child deserved to have a mother and a father?

Governor Mitt Romney noted that Americans are a tolerant, generous and kind people.  We all oppose bigotry and disparagement, and we all wish to avoid hurtful disregard of the feelings of others.  But the debate over same-sex marriage is not a debate over tolerance.  It is a debate about the purpose of the institution of marriage.

Given our understanding of the importance of marriage, is this really a debate that we can sleep through?

Can we afford to create a society where we lose the expectation that children will grow up in a home with their biological, married mother and father?  

You tell tomorrow’s children which is unnecessary — a mother or a father?

What’s at Stake

Many people don’t understand what is at stake if we lose the definition of marriage.

If marriage is redefined, we lose the legal logic against deconstructing it further. 

Among the likeliest effects of gay marriage is to take us down a slippery slope to legalized polygamy and “polyamory” (group marriage).  Marriage will be transformed into a variety of relationship contracts, linking two, three, or more individuals (however weakly and temporarily) in every conceivable combination of male and female.

A scare scenario?  Hardly.  Researcher Stanley Kurtz said, “The bottom of this slope is visible from where we stand.”

For the past few years, defenders of marriage have been sounding the alarm as to the real goals of the so-called gay "marriage" movement — to undo marriage.

Now, a distinguished group of scholars, civic leaders, and activists have publicly acknowledged their goals to undo marriage in a formal statement called Beyond Marriage.  They advocate a “family diversity” model.

What is the family diversity model?  It is a commitment to the idea that no one family form is superior to another family form.  The family diversity model transforms family fragmentation into a sign of social progress.

They say, "Marriage is not the only worthy form of family or relationship, and it should not be legally and economically privileged above all others.” What it means is that we will lose marriage as the social norm.

Yet, the erosion of marriage throughout the past four decades has had disastrous effects on both children and adults and lies at the heart of many social problems.

Children without the stability of a married mother and father are much more likely to experience:

Poverty
Abuse
Behavioral and Emotional Problems
Lower Academic Achievement
Depression
Drug Usage

Already in our society, one out of three children is born out of wedlock, and fewer than 45% of teenagers live with their married parents. Marriage is already suffering in our society and therefore children are suffering, too.

Clearly, it is in the best interest of our society to do everything that we can to support and protect marriage — the most vital institution that affects not only the future of our rising generation but our nation.

If this movement to deconstruct marriage succeeds, we will be creating a world where children will go to school and learn that all forms of sexuality are equal, where to read the story of how the prince falls in love with another prince is common fare.

Religious Freedom at Stake

It is not just family structure that is at stake here, but religious freedom as well. Just how serious are the coming conflicts over religious liberty stemming from gay marriage?

Scholars say that it will be a train wreck. 

Anthony Picarello of the Becket Fund for Religious Liberty said, “The impact will be severe and pervasive.  This is going to affect every aspect of church-state relations… But because marriage affects just about every area of the law, gay marriage is going to create a point of conflict at every point around the perimeter.” 

Ten top First Amendment legal scholars recently held a conference on the issue and concluded that broadly legalizing same-sex marriage will likely roll back religious freedom for everyone.

Its findings on the questions at hand showed same-sex marriage sharply curtailing, and in some cases wiping out, the religious freedom of its opponents in spheres ranging from taxation, charitable giving, housing, public accommodation, and employment to licensure, professional practice and equal access.

In March 2006, Boston Catholic Charities, after a century of service to needy children, closed its doors to doing adoptions.  Why?  Because adoption agencies have to be licensed by the state, and Massachusetts will not license an agency that will not place children with same-sex couples. 

Boston Catholic Charities was left with no choice.  Rather than go against their religious choice, they had to stop doing adoptions.

Here are some examples of how freedom is at risk:

The Christian Science Monitor noted:

  • If same-sex marriage is legalized, professional licenses might also be denied to psychological clinics, social workers, marriage and family counselors, and others who believe same-sex relationships are “objectively disordered.”

  • Religious groups could find themselves suffering along with the Boy Scouts, as access to public facilities is stripped away.  Gay-rights litigators will likely challenge groups’ federal tax-exempt status charging that such an exemption “subsidizes discrimination.”

Examples of conflict between civil rights law and religious freedom include these possibilities:

  • Religious employers who refuse to hire or retain employees in same-sex marriages on the basis of “marital status discrimination.” 

  • Religious colleges that refuse admission to same-sex couples could face civil lawsuits and loss of accreditation.  

  • Freedom of speech is at risk. A North Truro, Massachusetts, volunteer fireman, Leo “Skip” Childs lost his position because he signed a petition opposing gay marriage.  He has spent every spare minute in the last decade in protecting his community, but when it came time to vote for a new Board of Fire Engineers, suddenly he was ousted.

We hear repeatedly of people who can’t work to protect marriage because it would put them in jeopardy with their work.  How subtly and quietly our freedom of speech is eroded.

We have created Power Point presentations on marriage for the eight states where a constitutional amendment is on the ballot in November. Click on one of these states to see the Power Point: 

Arizona,

Colorado,

Idaho,

South Carolina,

South Dakota,

Tennessee,

Virginia and Wisconsin.

If you live in any of these states and would like a copy of the Power Point to show to others, contact RoseMarie Briggs at rkbriggs@verizon.net

Why Family Leader?

As founders of Meridian, we have also played a role in founding the Family Leader Network with scores of other good people.  Why?  There is one simple answer to that.  We had no choice.

I wish we did.  There are much easier things to do than sound the alarm.  I’d rather write about scriptures and temple dedications than social issues. But with Meridian we have half a million readers.  This is an army of people who could make a difference if they would.

Defending marriage, family, and religious freedom has been thrust upon us by the times and by organized groups who want to make radical changes in our world —

Latter-day Saints are the sleeping giant in this battle and there’s no bigger, consistent gathering of us outside of the Church than right here on Meridian.  If you won’t step up to the plate, who will?

If we don’t stand up together, we will not recognize the world that our children inherit .  If you don’t believe it, think how different the world was even 10 years ago than what it is today.

Though the organization isn’t specifically LDS, we formed Family Leader so that there was an organization that mirrored LDS values in this cultural war.  In addition to marriage definition, we are concerned about the whole range of social issues that impact family including pornography, school curriculum, religious freedom, Internet gambling, media and more.

We gave the name “Family Leader” to this organization to reflect a statement from President Hinckley:

I urge you with all the capacity that I have to reach out in a duty that stands beyond the requirements of our everyday lives; that is, to stand strong, even to become a leader in speaking up in behalf of those causes that make our civilization shine and that give comfort and peace to our lives. You can be a leader. You must be a leader, as a member of this Church, in those causes for which this Church stands.


Do not let fear overcome your efforts, for as Paul wrote to Timothy: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). The adversary of all truth would put into your heart a reluctance to make an effort. Cast that fear aside and be valiant in the cause of truth and righteousness and faith. If you now decide that this will become the pattern of your life, you will not have to make that decision again. You will put on "the armour of God" and raise your voice in defense of truth whatever the circumstances now and in all the years that lie ahead (see Ephesians 6:11).1

Family Leader is not affiliated with the Church.  We give you these statements from our Church leaders not to build this organization.  We are happy to see Latter-day Saints involved in any good organization that will stand firm for these values.  What we do hope, however, and I will be unabashedly open about this — is that you will get up and move.

Whatever state or nation you live in, the issues attacking the family and the moral fiber of society are huge — and those who war against your values and against family don’t think you’ll have enough political will to get up and fight.

On Meridian, if we ask you to caption pictures, debate the virtues of home school, or help Kieth Merrill with a survey on film, you respond by the hundreds and sometimes thousands.  Can we do as well asking you to stand with us in the most important battles of our time?

Here are two things you can do to stand for your values, for family, for religious freedom.

    1. Sign up to receive the Family Leader email updates by clicking here. This is how you can become educated on the issues and know when your voice can make a difference with our Take Action alerts.  I can promise you that once you begin to become more educated on these issues you will go from passive to passionate.

    2. Sign up to volunteer to help by sending an email to RoseMarie Briggs at rkbriggs@verizon.net  Include in your email your name, all contact information, and any skills that you might have that you would like to donate.  If what you have is only a little time, but you have friends, your help is still badly needed.  We need help in every state in the United States — and we are willing to build in other countries too.

That may sound too simple, but it is where an army that can stand for values begins.

In closing, let me take again from President Hinckley’s talk on leadership a quote from Charles Malik.  He said:

I respect all men, and it is from disrespect for none that I say there are no great leaders in the world today. In fact, greatness itself is laughed to scorn. You should not be great today — you should sink yourself into the herd, you should not be distinguished from the crowd, you should simply be one of the many.


The commanding voice is lacking. The voice which speaks little, but which when it speaks, speaks with compelling moral authority — this kind of voice is not congenial to this age. The age flattens and levels down every distinction into drab uniformity. Respect for the high, the noble, the great, the rare, the specimen that appears once every hundred or every thousand years, is gone. Respect at all is gone! If you ask whom and what people do respect, the answer is literally nobody and nothing. This is simply an unrespecting age — it is the age of utter mediocrity. To become a leader today, even a mediocre leader, is a most uphill struggle. You are constantly and in every way and from every side pulled down. One wonders who of those living today will be remembered a thousand years from now — the way we remember with such profound respect Plato, and Aristotle, and Christ, and Paul, and Augustine, and Aquinas.


If you believe in prayer, my friends, and I know you do, then pray that God send great leaders, especially great leaders of the spirit. 2

Can Latter-day Saints be those leaders in this battle for the safety of our world?  We hope and pray so.

Notes:

1          “Stand Up for Truth,”  a speech given at BYU in September, 1996, by President Gordon B. Hinckley

2          Charles H. Malik, "Forum Address" (18 November 1975), BYU Studies 16, no. 4 (Summer 1976): 543­44

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© 2006 Meridian Magazine.  All Rights Reserved.

About the Author:

Maurine Jensen Proctor is the Editor-in-Chief of Meridian Magazine.

Related Resources:

Family Leader Network Archive

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