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What Are They Thinking?
By Judith Rasband
“What are they thinking?”
“Where are their parents?”
“Don’t they look in the
mirror?”
These questions are voiced continually,
in frustration, by people at a loss to understand the sloppy, sexy
appearance of others they see in schools, in malls, in theaters,
in restaurants, in church — EVERYWHERE!
I’m asked:
- “Don’t they know how
bad/how awful they look?”
- “Don’t they know how
dumb/how stupid they look?”
- “And the pregnant belly ‘in
your face!’ Can’t somebody do something about that?”
No, they typically don’t know.
And, “What are they thinking?” They’re not. It’s
that simple.
People are known to think about what
style of car they want to buy and drive. What kind of statement
will it make about them? How will it express and affect their lifestyle?
Personal style? But too many people don’t really think about
the style of their clothes and its effect on their lives.
Speaking in generalities, we’re
all looking to the latest celebrity for our direction and instruction
on how to dress. We adopt their looks because they’re popular
and we think if we look like that too, we’ll be popular too.
And, “the pregnant belly?”
That’s being pushed in terms of being proud about being pregnant,
celebrating the body during pregnancy — and who dares to question
that! So it’s out there!
“Where are the parents?”
Oh, the parents are there all right, but most tell me they haven’t
a clue what to say and are literally afraid to say anything. Other
parents appear equally sloppy or sexy themselves. The parents of
the parents got too busy and didn’t teach the children.
Taught by Parents
Child therapist Ron Taffel thinks the
adult establishment has become too weak and weary to take a stand
regarding rebellious, defiant behavior — including defiant
dress and grooming.
Parents in the first half of the twentieth century respected the
influence of fashion, dress and grooming on themselves and on their
lives. Their parents and teachers had taught them.
Respecting occasions, they were quick
to say, “Remember, son, to look your best.” They knowingly
and intuitively practiced image management, as evidenced by the
men in suit dress in the bread lines during the Great Depression
and women in blue-collar dress on the assembly lines during World
War II — wearing clothing that enabled them to function regardless
of the adversity of the times.
Upon the 2006 grand opening of Macy’s
Department Stores all across America, I received a call from a local
reader telling me to look at Page A18 in the September 8th Deseret
Morning News special section about the event. Regarding the
early 1900s photo, she exclaimed, “Look at those people looking
in the windows of Macy’s. Those people knew about the influence
of dress and how to present themselves with style — even a
style of their own.”
Parents of the twenty-first century
are largely unknowing about the influence of fashion, dress, and
grooming on themselves and on their lives. Their parents and teachers
have not taught them.
Regarding any occasion, many people
are quick to say, “Dress doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t
have to look nice anymore.” There is a gap in their knowledge
and life skills regarding dress and image management. Generally
unable and unwilling to acknowledge this gap, they feel threatened
and often treat the subject of dress and appearance with prideful
disdain, condescension, and contempt, as evidenced by the man who
said in response to the concept of image management, “Try
selling that one to the farmer.”
Truth is, I don’t usually have
to “sell that one to the farmer.” Not focused on fashion
for the sake of fashion, the farmer is often one who still knows
the function of dress for the purpose of utility, economy, attractiveness,
respect, and maybe even reverence. The farmer is one who still practices
image management by wearing durable denim overalls in the fields,
changing to a clean shirt and pants in good repair for dinner or
visiting with friends, and a suit on Sunday.
The farmer is one who expresses concern
about the overly casual, sloppy, and scanty appearance of today’s
population and their apparent lack of respect for themselves, for
others, and for occasions — regardless of the prosperity of
the times.
Without some knowledge and experience
in dress and grooming, there is no perceived value for the influence
of dress and grooming. Without value, there is no willingness to
learn. We have become a largely ignorant and often arrogant population
on the subject of dress and grooming.
And when the parents have lost the
knowledge, the children do not learn.
©
2007 Conselle L.C.
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