Editors' Note: Many have asked about the exact quote from Elder Orson F. Whitney about wayward children. The following is from the April 1929 General Conference Report, pp. 109-11:

“You parents of the wilful and the wayward!  Don't give them up. Don't cast them off. They are not utterly lost. The Shepherd will find his sheep. They were his before they were yours - long before he entrusted them to your care; and you cannot begin to love them as he loves them. They have but strayed in ignorance from the Path of Right, and God is merciful to ignorance. Only the fulness of knowledge brings the fulness of accountability   Our Heavenly Father is far more merciful, infinitely more charitable, than even the best of his servants, and the Everlasting Gospel is mightier in power to save than our narrow finite minds can comprehend.

“The prophet Joseph Smith declared ­and he never taught more comforting doctrine ­­that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander the eye of the Shepherd is upon them and sooner   or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold.  Either in this life   or the life to come , they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path, but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father's heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children;  hold on to them with your faith.  Hope on ,  trust on , till you see the salvation of God. Who are these straying sheep, these wayward sons and daughters? They are children of the Covenant, heirs to the promises, and have received, if baptized, the Gift of the Holy Ghost, which makes manifest the things of God. Could all that go for naught?”

I Was the Child Who Was Lost

I was the child that left the church when I was about 17 years old.  There were a lot of reasons for leaving that I won't go into but I was the one that everyone looked up to.  I was the one that had the strong testimony, participated in all the functions, had the dreams of a temple marriage, etc. My family had joined the church when I was 10.  We had missionaries live in our home soon after joining the church and my father helped build the new chapel, which was all quite common at that time. Life was great until I was around 17 or 18 when I left the church.
 
After 30 plus years of searching and going through many, many difficult times trying to find that elusive happiness I thought was out "there," I have found my way back. The gospel truths were always with me because of the things I had been taught but I shoved deep inside.  There was a rebellious spirit about me that I wasn't going to be told what to do, I knew better. Oh how hard that lesson was to learn!  My mother didn't chastise but I now know how much her heart ached watching all that I went through.
 
For any parents who might be reading this, if you have brought your children up with the gospel principles, they are still a part of that child. Those teachings are what get us through those dark times when we don't know where to turn. All you can do is pray for those wayward children and love them unconditionally just as the Lord loves us.  They will find their way back. It may not be in "your time," but as they mature they will come to realize that what they are searching for was with them all along. The peace that comes with the love of the Savior and his gospel truths.  For any youth who may be reading this, don't compromise your principles for anyone or anything.  Satan is more powerful than you can ever imagine and once that door is open it gets easier and easier to go down that path. Heavenly Father will help you in whatever difficulties you are having, all you have to do is ask. He loves you so much.
 
I have a very strong testimony of the love of our Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ, and I am so thankful that they know me personally.  I know that Jesus died for me, a sinner, who has found her way back and lives each day with gratitude for that atoning sacrifice.
 
--Sylvia in California

We've Kept Our Doors Open for Him

Out of my seven children, only one is "lost", but I believe with all my heart that he will not be lost forever.  I have watched as he has matured and I have taken joy in the person he has become.  He has gone through a lot of heartache and trouble and he realizes he is paying for wrong decisions he made when he was younger.  He is very intelligent, talented, kind, a good worker, and he appreciates family and friends who have stuck by him with unconditional love, and helped him when he was going through some tough times.  He is not yet back into going to church, but I know it will happen.  The grief I felt during those "lost" years has almost overcome me at times.  I love him so much. When he was born the Spirit was so strong as he came into the world, I knew at that moment that the Lord had a special work for him to do.  One thing that has helped him is that his siblings, along with my husband and I, always kept our doors open for him. 

--Name withheld

We Still Have Hope

I have 5 children and all have strayed. It has been a very emotional thing for my husband and me. Two have come back, and we still hope for the other three. Thought I had done all I could to raise them right.

--Name withheld

We Keep Her in Our Prayers

I have 3 sons.  All served worthy missions, are sealed in the temple, and raising wonderful families in the gospel. I also have 1 daughter, who never seemed to fit in with the rowdy church kids her age in high school.  She started to stray by her senior year.  She married a couple of years later and within a year went through a divorce.  At the same time we learned that her father was leading a double life, and had broken very serious temple Covenants . Two years later our divorce ensued.  My daughter has now had two failed marriages and is definitely not seeking

any light in her life. 

The boys and I have always treated her with respect and she is very much a part of the family circle, not partaking in any of the religious aspect of it.  We keep her in our prayers that she will someday return to the fold; she is born in the covenant.  We have that promise…we have that hope.  It is difficult to watch the pain she goes through as she struggles with poor decisions and follows the pattern of her father.   As a temple worker, I keep her name on the prayer roll and

we continue with faith that she will eventually seek after and find comfort in her Savior. 

--Name Withheld

I Will Never Give Up

I have two sons.  My husband perished in a horrific accident when they were very small.  The eldest had been difficult all his life.  He went to prison for 10 years at age 24, and was excommunicated as a result.  The younger was active, married in the temple and had 4 beautiful children.  Whoever would have guessed, now that they are in their 40's, that I would worry about the younger son the most?  He broke his marriage vows and finds it easier to stay away than to go through the necessary steps of repentance.  I feel great sorrow for them because they have made covenants, and repentance will not be easy. 

My older son has become a responsible, caring man since his release from prison, though he has no interest in the church.  He has married, purchased a home, has a good job, and has had no further entanglements with the law in the last 12 years. 

I pray daily that these precious sons of God will recognize their true worth one day.  I know that they were taught righteous principles from early childhood.  I get comfort from the scripture that tells us, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  I guess they just aren't quite old enough yet.  But I will never give up, because I know they will one day return to the things they learned in their youth. 

--A Loyal Mom

We Did the Best We Knew How

Yes, we have 3 grown children, and all have been lost, even though I and my husband are strong and faithful in the gospel and active at the ward and stake levels. We are converts to the church. Coming from Catholic backgrounds, we were inadequate at the Bible, let alone a new scripture so we were learning along with the children.

They all have ADHD so have always marched to the beat of a different drummer. They fell through the cracks at every level once they reached 12. We always lived 10 - 15 miles away from the ward building, which put them in different schools than the main body of ward teens. My children were the only Latter-day Saints in their schools. They couldn't relate to the teens of the ward as they weren't in their circle of friends. Getting them to seminary was impossible.

Needless to say, none of our children went on a mission and each one has had at least one child out of wedlock.

My husband and I have agonized and analyzed this to death and can only come up with this - We were too inexperienced in the gospel to be able to teach our children correctly and too drained physically and mentally trying to raise 3 ADHD children, therefore, we did the best we knew how and hope that Heavenly Father forgives us our shortcomings.

--Ginny Wallace

We Hold Onto the Promises

Painful doesn't even begin to describe the feelings we have for children going astray.  I have eight children, two of my own and six stepchildren.  Sadly out of the eight we only consider two really active.  It is extremely painful, but we hold onto the promises of our sealing and pray everyday that our children's hearts will soften and turn back to the Gospel.

--Name Withheld

Inactive for 40 Years

My beloved wife and I have two children.  Both had difficult years growing up.  Our daughter was married in the temple but she and her husband had some "uncertain years" before everything spiritually fell into place.  Our son, however, remains inactive after 40 years. Both children grew up in a strong, active, loving home.  But peer pressures proved to be too great.  Our son never had a real testimony and these negatives in the Church caused him to seek companionship elsewhere.  Fortunately, I have a very good relationship with him now.

--Name Withheld

We Would Never Turn Our Backs on Him

My son started dabbling with drugs in his mid-teens.  Home life was one fight after another.  When he was 16 he stopped coming to church altogether. The time came when he left home - and would cross the street if he saw me coming towards him.

Then he had a child.  He later told us that even his friends commented on the fact that he was the only one of them whose family had not turned their backs on him.  He wanted to be the best dad he could for his son, so he came to visit and asked for advice and help. Over the next two years things improved.  He even attended a stake picnic and spoke with many of the members, including the stake president; and, eventually, he asked if it would be all right if he came back to church.

He never made it because for three weeks things got in his way, then he was found dead.

We have another child who is less active - but we know, from personal experience, that the only ways to bring her home are to love her unconditionally - and to never give up (no matter how many tears we shed).  We are convinced that our son was facing the right direction when he died, so we can never falter; and we hope this will bring his sister back too.

--George Russell
Dundee, Scotland

We Know the Final Outcome of the Great Plan of Happiness

I have 4 wonderful children that have gone astray. I was married to an inactive member who had addictions of his own. When my children came to crossroads in their lives they chose to follow their father's example. I have had much heartache but have always loved my family unconditionally and have set the best example that I can. I am now married in the temple to a wonderful man that loves and supports "our" children. There are two things that have always gotten me through the heartache: One, Heavenly Father also had a son go astray, one that took others with him, who will never return. Two, it's not over by a long shot; we have a long way to go before our final judgment and the Lord wants us to succeed. He loves our children much more then we can even know. I never forget that we know the final outcome of the Great Plan of Happiness. Our Savior, Jesus Christ will reign supreme and Satan will be defeated! We need to love our families, hang in there and endure well!

--Dianne Guggemos

Something I Cling To

I have 3 children who have strayed, 1 is trying to come back. I have found that the Lord will hear and answer my prayers that our children will come back. We are promised that if we are worthy all our children will come back and that is something I cling to.

--Kathleen in Utah