The person who liberates us from our ignorance or rescues us from bondage by teaching us the truths we need to know will always be seen as our hero.
There was a time when my mother wasn’t my hero. She seemed weak and emotionally fragile. This was a very hard time of her life, but I didn’t see that as a child. I only saw a person who seemed to emotionally break down regularly.
At this time I started looking outside of my home for a hero to follow. I looked at teachers and women in the neighborhood. I looked to the media and to my father. I found some good mentors for me, but some very confusing and morally damaging ones as well. In fact some of my social ideas started to work more and more against having a good relationship with my mother. This started the selfish years when I fought with my mother regularly.
After I learned to choose to say “okay” and be okay when my mother talked to me and learned to respect her, my love for her grew again. It was a blessing.
But, not until I was a mother of four who was suffering from posttraumatic stress did I realize that my mother was truly my hero. A hero is a person who goes on a journey and conquers themselves and the enemy along the way. My mother was this person, especially when I thought she wasn’t.
After the complicated birth of my fourth child my brain started to play a few tricks on me. Never had I been more afraid in my life. I thought I was broken and didn’t know how to get myself back to normal. I was filled with panic attacks and racing thoughts. My body and mind wouldn’t rest and my senses were acutely aware of everything. After 24 hours of this, and in the middle of a panic attack, I picked up the phone and called my mother. I simply said, “I need help.” then hung up the phone.
Never in my life had I asked my mother for help or made such a short phone call, but my words literally wouldn’t form in the panic attack.
My hero mother jumped in her car and rushed to my house. She ran in the door and looked me over. Then she cried and said, “I know what is wrong. I have had this happen to me. We are going to the doctor now. You are not going to put up with this like I did for all those years.” Then she told me of how after the birth of her last child which also had lots of complications she ended up in my same condition and battled through it for many many years.
In tears my mother said the sweetest most heroic thing I have ever had anyone say to me. She said, “Nicholeen, I would go through all that again so that you don’t have to. Now I know why I had to have that awful experience. It was to save you from having to have the same problem. I can finally say I am glad I went through all that.”
I had judged my mother. I thought she was weak. Now I knew she was stronger than anyone. She kept mothering, kept loving, kept serving, through her darkest days. That is the journey a hero makes.
Her story is just as heroic as the story of the famous little hobbit who had to face a world of darkness to rid humanity of a very dangerous ring.
Motherhood is hard, it is the work of heroes. Luckily motherhood is also the greatest gift a woman ever gets.
Thank you mom! Happy Mother’s Day!
Here is a free video to help mother’s make their homes more blissful.