Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. Most of us marry feeling that nothing could possibly separate us, believing that a celestial marriage will be perfect and easy—a happily ever after. Yet life is not that way and we face the harsh reality of conflict where our perfect happiness can be shattered. What will save our happily ever after is to realize is that life and marriage evolve in stages.
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It’s wedding season! With intimacy issues as one of the major causes of divorce and dissatisfaction in marriage, couples would be wise to prepare for the honeymoon and the intimate aspects of marriage just as much as they prepare for the wedding day.
I’ve been married to my husband for 24 years. He’s in the military and I have willingly followed him around the world. I absolutely adore him. However five weeks ago he told me that he no longer wanted to be married. He just dropped that bombshell on me. However, he hasn’t moved out of the house. He still wears his wedding ring. And he doesn’t want anyone to know.
Often, we think we are acting nobly when we are actually being destructive. We make suggestions to our spouse hoping to strengthen the relationship, but noble intentions are not enough.
I grew up in the Church and never imagined myself doing anything sexual before marriage. About three years before getting married, someone I thought I could trust sexually assaulted me. After this had happened, I felt ashamed and believed it was my fault. This led to two other relationships of a sexual nature, but my husband is only aware of one of them.
Babies learn to coordinate the views coming from both their eyes within the first few months of life. Learning to coordinate our different views of the world in marriage can take decades. We come from families that are vastly different not only in the way they communicate, but the way they define closeness, express emotions, and solve problems. So, how do we learn to find harmony with one another in marriage?