When my husband and I are fighting or there is tension is between us, our teenage kids feel it. They often ask what’s going on and I’m not always sure how to answer their questions.
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Some of us are surprised to discover that even though we are faithful Saints, we may face significant disappointments in our marriages. On some level, many of us tend to believe that if we are good Saints, we should be spared most painful challenges. And that shows that we don’t understand God’s Plan.
After our last argument, he said one of us had to leave and that this was no longer healthy. He told me he still loved me, but believed we are not repairable. Neither of us is willing to move out, so he said he would stay in the house and we would be like roommates until he could find a better solution. He even took off his ring and has not put it back on.
My husband of 18 years has slowly become more and more withdrawn since we have been married. We had big dreams and plans to make things happen, and I thought that was part of the foundation of our relationship. As time has gone on, he sleeps significantly more, has gained nearly 100 pounds, and lacks interest in going out and doing much more than dinner and movies.
When two people come together from two very different backgrounds, the challenges in connecting the two halves into a functioning whole are immense and continuing. We do not create a well-connected home overnight. Here are some keys that can help in the process.
My husband and I had a bad fight six weeks ago where I slapped him in his face and got aggressive with him, which is completely out of my character. I have apologized and told him I’m disappointed in myself. At first, he just wanted me to leave him alone, then he stopped talking, and then it eventually turned into him wanting to be out of the home.
Differences can irritate and grow. They can become defining issues. After all, the natural man is an enemy to his spouse. And always has been. And always will be. There simply is no hope we will get along unless we can change the way we feel about our differences.