I’m a highly sensitive person and I know that I can sometimes get stuck in my emotions and make things more difficult than they need to be. My friends and family often give me a hard time, so I try to push through and not make a big deal about things. At the same time, my therapist tells me that it’s okay for me to have my feelings. I feel torn about how to reconcile these two things.
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My sister-in-law discounts other people's opinions, especially mine, and lauds her opinions as the final word on any subject whether she has any background or information on it. She also demands that the rest of the family do what she wants or raises an emotional ruckus. Then later launches a diatribe, "You wouldn't even do --- that I asked you." This has been ongoing all the 40-plus years I have been married.
The Joseph and Lucy Smith family history is rich with stories where this cohesive relationship was extremely self-sacrificing and binding. When one person struggled, all struggled with them. They were a very unified family, which allowed them to accomplish all that continues to influence millions for good today.
The default setting for human minds is evaluation. We are constantly evaluating what people say and do. A spouse observes that the broccoli is overcooked, and we wag our internal heads, “You always like your vegetables raw!” Sometimes we are wise enough to keep our critical thoughts to ourselves. Even so, there is a price to be paid for having a contrary mindset.
Am I doing what Christ would do or am I wrong in not helping more? She says that we should have given her the money we spent on the eviction lawyer. And, she says she is not leaving without her children. I just feel really bad about my grandchildren. Are we doing the right thing?
How can I show love and support to someone who is self-destructing and making it difficult for me to go back to healthier choices for myself? At the rate she's going I know she'll need to be cared for, but she's making no effort to improve her bad health or create an environment for independence. And I'm torn in the middle of a resolve to be a charitable daughter and hold healthy boundaries for my marriage and myself.