Thanks for reminding me what it’s all about… Faith in Him!!!
Betty PearsonMay 9, 2017
Ashley, this is a beautiful article and such a devastating time in your life. Imogene had shared with me that you had lost a set of twins but of course I didn't realize the anguish and suffering you went through until I read this article today. I love you Ashley, you are such a very special person. May the Lord bless you always and may He always walk with you "over mountains" when they do not need to be moved. Love you forever, Aunt Betty
PopsMay 7, 2017
I don't suppose that God will move a mountain if doing so would violate someone's agency. It is entirely possible that the two bodies were for spirits that, for whatever reason, wished to delay their coming into mortality. That doesn't mean the loss is not tragic, nor that healing is not needed. I think one of the difficult lessons we need to learn in mortality is to allow others their agency. Think how much God suffers when we make foolish choices - we need to learn to bear that kind of pain if we wish to become as God is.
Donna Marie HarrisonMay 6, 2017
Thank you for sharing this story. But in finding a way to cope with this unimaginable loss, please remember that one day you will be united with these precious ones and get to experience the unique and uniquely wonderful beings that they are. It is not so much a loss as it is delayed gratification!
JaneMay 2, 2017
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. It has come on a day that I needed it. Thank you. I have had unimaginable struggles for the last three years. I could never have contemplated going through these things -they seem so complicated, unsolvable, so heart-wrenching, and painful that I can barely make it through sometimes.
Yet, through it all, my Heavenly Father has been with me. He is helping me every day, every minute. "I need Thee every hour" is my constant thought and prayer.
I know He is sustaining me, and blessing me --through the power of the Savior's Atonement. Jesus is with us in all of our pain. He not only knows how we feel, but is in the midst of our pain, bearing it with us. How could we ever ask for anything more?
I, too, feel like I am going over a mountain. I don't know when or how my trials will end. The only thing I know is that I can't do it without the Lord at my side, and His precious, reassuring promises found in the scriptures. With Him, I can keep going. He is there for all of us. All we need to do is ask.
ROBERTMay 2, 2017
Reading that your story I can only feel the strength you have developed. I do not know how you handled it but that experience alone is a miracle. I don't think any one can know what it takes to develop that type of faith and understanding unless you yourself experience the event. We can however learn from you that miracles do happen but not the way we sometime want. The miracle to me is your faith and the understanding you say you now have, you have been put through the refiners fire and come out believing, how wonderful so many of us fall at that stage. The scriptures are so rich in symbolism and we have so much to learn. Thank you for the story it is a lesson to us all of true faith need to climb "mountains"
LeahMay 1, 2017
The second time I read this, the date sunk in. Your grief is still new. You will be processing it for years! I lost a set of twins also. One at age 15 (26 years ago) and the other at age 40 (16 months ago). Both, suicide. Earth life can bring such joy, such thrills, so much satisfaction..., and grief that weighs so heavily, you wonder how you can carry it. I listened to President Hinckley's conference talks on the way to sleep every night for months after the most recent loss. I love his voice. Going to the temple helps a lot. I also read the parts of Isaiah that are about how the Lord loves us, will help us, will carry us. To me, the key to survival has been knowing that Heavenly Father truly loves me, the Savior dries our tears, directs our paths, and even to our old age, will carry us (Isaiah). When I pass through the veil, this will all be explained to me. Every one gets a chance to suffer here in Earth life. Should I be exempt?
SarahMay 1, 2017
How could I have been so wrong?
Oh I hear ya! So true that line.
Thank you for sharing, wonderful testimony enriching article about " its not what happens to you but how you react to what happens "
Do we harden our hearts..or increase our faith.
Diane IrwinMay 1, 2017
Whoa! This shook me to my very core! Being a mother of 4, grandmother of 2 with one on the way, I just cannot fathom what you have been going through. I applaud your faith! Stay strong!
Gary DennisMay 1, 2017
Ashley: "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart - and lean NOT unto your own understanding (how you think that your life should be - surrender your life to Him). In all thy ways acknowledge Him (believe and thank Him) - and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
Our individual life paths / journey were created and chosen by us in our pre-earth life, and included all the trials, challenges and experiences needed for our individual spiritual growth while here in this earth plane - at this point in time. He (Christ) knows of our individual life plan, and our challenges - that most often include heart-wrenching experiences and trials of our faith and trust in Him. Know He is always with you, and will comfort you, and bring you peace during your trials in life - remain faithful and loving toward Him - thank Him for your trials and continue to love and trust in Him as your life unfolds - line upon line - as it is meant to be for you - when it is meant to be. As you age you may begin to understand some of the meaning of your present trials - do not try to understand it all now - this life is a spiritual learning process that includes our entire lifetime. I lost our first two children - after they were born and lived exactly 24 hours and passed on. Many years later lost another child suddenly at a very young age. There is meaning and purpose in all our individual life experiences even though - through a glass darkly - we rarely see the spiritual meaning in the context of our entire life experiences while here in this earth plane. Possibly helpful: BYU Speech "Waiting upon the Lord: The Antidote to Uncertainty" by Erin Kramer Holmes - April 4, 2017. speeches.byu.edu/talks.
Love - Gary Dennis
Gaye BreillattMay 1, 2017
What a beautiful, beautiful article. Beautifully written. Bring s peace to any who experience those challenging times in life, which includes all of us. But God is always there to see us through. Thank you
Linda WestoverMay 1, 2017
What a painful yet insightful article! I believe many of us, especially women, struggle for understanding when the answers don't come the way we have felt they would. We tend to think we are somehow lacking, not worthy, even though we truly believe in the Savior. Your comment "The Lord had lessons for me to learn, eternal ones, and they required a side-by-side walk with Him, over a mountain" puts it all in perspective. Thank you so much for sharing this sweet lesson with us!
JessicaMay 1, 2017
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm know it's not an easy thing to open up about.
LindaMay 1, 2017
Several years ago we had a trial so overwhelming that in my scripture study I found myself contemplating how we could move this mountain. I am happy to say that with much work on our part and miracles on Father's part our mountain was moved. Now we face a bigger mountain, one that I don't think we will be able to move in this life but I have faith it will move. I appreciate your comments that sometimes the Lord walks with us over the mountain. That has put into perspective the exhausting effort we are applying, and yet our firmness in faith that eventually this mountain will be moved, hear on earth or in the next life.
Bless you for sharing and I pray the Lord will comfort you for bring clarity into my day
Comments | Return to Story
KarenDecember 16, 2023
Thanks for reminding me what it’s all about… Faith in Him!!!
Betty PearsonMay 9, 2017
Ashley, this is a beautiful article and such a devastating time in your life. Imogene had shared with me that you had lost a set of twins but of course I didn't realize the anguish and suffering you went through until I read this article today. I love you Ashley, you are such a very special person. May the Lord bless you always and may He always walk with you "over mountains" when they do not need to be moved. Love you forever, Aunt Betty
PopsMay 7, 2017
I don't suppose that God will move a mountain if doing so would violate someone's agency. It is entirely possible that the two bodies were for spirits that, for whatever reason, wished to delay their coming into mortality. That doesn't mean the loss is not tragic, nor that healing is not needed. I think one of the difficult lessons we need to learn in mortality is to allow others their agency. Think how much God suffers when we make foolish choices - we need to learn to bear that kind of pain if we wish to become as God is.
Donna Marie HarrisonMay 6, 2017
Thank you for sharing this story. But in finding a way to cope with this unimaginable loss, please remember that one day you will be united with these precious ones and get to experience the unique and uniquely wonderful beings that they are. It is not so much a loss as it is delayed gratification!
JaneMay 2, 2017
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. It has come on a day that I needed it. Thank you. I have had unimaginable struggles for the last three years. I could never have contemplated going through these things -they seem so complicated, unsolvable, so heart-wrenching, and painful that I can barely make it through sometimes. Yet, through it all, my Heavenly Father has been with me. He is helping me every day, every minute. "I need Thee every hour" is my constant thought and prayer. I know He is sustaining me, and blessing me --through the power of the Savior's Atonement. Jesus is with us in all of our pain. He not only knows how we feel, but is in the midst of our pain, bearing it with us. How could we ever ask for anything more? I, too, feel like I am going over a mountain. I don't know when or how my trials will end. The only thing I know is that I can't do it without the Lord at my side, and His precious, reassuring promises found in the scriptures. With Him, I can keep going. He is there for all of us. All we need to do is ask.
ROBERTMay 2, 2017
Reading that your story I can only feel the strength you have developed. I do not know how you handled it but that experience alone is a miracle. I don't think any one can know what it takes to develop that type of faith and understanding unless you yourself experience the event. We can however learn from you that miracles do happen but not the way we sometime want. The miracle to me is your faith and the understanding you say you now have, you have been put through the refiners fire and come out believing, how wonderful so many of us fall at that stage. The scriptures are so rich in symbolism and we have so much to learn. Thank you for the story it is a lesson to us all of true faith need to climb "mountains"
LeahMay 1, 2017
The second time I read this, the date sunk in. Your grief is still new. You will be processing it for years! I lost a set of twins also. One at age 15 (26 years ago) and the other at age 40 (16 months ago). Both, suicide. Earth life can bring such joy, such thrills, so much satisfaction..., and grief that weighs so heavily, you wonder how you can carry it. I listened to President Hinckley's conference talks on the way to sleep every night for months after the most recent loss. I love his voice. Going to the temple helps a lot. I also read the parts of Isaiah that are about how the Lord loves us, will help us, will carry us. To me, the key to survival has been knowing that Heavenly Father truly loves me, the Savior dries our tears, directs our paths, and even to our old age, will carry us (Isaiah). When I pass through the veil, this will all be explained to me. Every one gets a chance to suffer here in Earth life. Should I be exempt?
SarahMay 1, 2017
How could I have been so wrong? Oh I hear ya! So true that line. Thank you for sharing, wonderful testimony enriching article about " its not what happens to you but how you react to what happens " Do we harden our hearts..or increase our faith.
Diane IrwinMay 1, 2017
Whoa! This shook me to my very core! Being a mother of 4, grandmother of 2 with one on the way, I just cannot fathom what you have been going through. I applaud your faith! Stay strong!
Gary DennisMay 1, 2017
Ashley: "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart - and lean NOT unto your own understanding (how you think that your life should be - surrender your life to Him). In all thy ways acknowledge Him (believe and thank Him) - and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 Our individual life paths / journey were created and chosen by us in our pre-earth life, and included all the trials, challenges and experiences needed for our individual spiritual growth while here in this earth plane - at this point in time. He (Christ) knows of our individual life plan, and our challenges - that most often include heart-wrenching experiences and trials of our faith and trust in Him. Know He is always with you, and will comfort you, and bring you peace during your trials in life - remain faithful and loving toward Him - thank Him for your trials and continue to love and trust in Him as your life unfolds - line upon line - as it is meant to be for you - when it is meant to be. As you age you may begin to understand some of the meaning of your present trials - do not try to understand it all now - this life is a spiritual learning process that includes our entire lifetime. I lost our first two children - after they were born and lived exactly 24 hours and passed on. Many years later lost another child suddenly at a very young age. There is meaning and purpose in all our individual life experiences even though - through a glass darkly - we rarely see the spiritual meaning in the context of our entire life experiences while here in this earth plane. Possibly helpful: BYU Speech "Waiting upon the Lord: The Antidote to Uncertainty" by Erin Kramer Holmes - April 4, 2017. speeches.byu.edu/talks. Love - Gary Dennis
Gaye BreillattMay 1, 2017
What a beautiful, beautiful article. Beautifully written. Bring s peace to any who experience those challenging times in life, which includes all of us. But God is always there to see us through. Thank you
Linda WestoverMay 1, 2017
What a painful yet insightful article! I believe many of us, especially women, struggle for understanding when the answers don't come the way we have felt they would. We tend to think we are somehow lacking, not worthy, even though we truly believe in the Savior. Your comment "The Lord had lessons for me to learn, eternal ones, and they required a side-by-side walk with Him, over a mountain" puts it all in perspective. Thank you so much for sharing this sweet lesson with us!
JessicaMay 1, 2017
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm know it's not an easy thing to open up about.
LindaMay 1, 2017
Several years ago we had a trial so overwhelming that in my scripture study I found myself contemplating how we could move this mountain. I am happy to say that with much work on our part and miracles on Father's part our mountain was moved. Now we face a bigger mountain, one that I don't think we will be able to move in this life but I have faith it will move. I appreciate your comments that sometimes the Lord walks with us over the mountain. That has put into perspective the exhausting effort we are applying, and yet our firmness in faith that eventually this mountain will be moved, hear on earth or in the next life. Bless you for sharing and I pray the Lord will comfort you for bring clarity into my day
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