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Jana contacted me when I was writing Life Before Life and told me her profound pre-birth experience, then mailed it to me so I could include it in my first book. Twenty years later I received an enthusiastic phone call from a young woman named Brytnee who was very proud to tell me she had just learned from her mother that she was the baby in Jana’s story. Brytnee and I became instant phone friends and she accepted my invitation to do a radio call-in show a few days later in which she read her mother Jana’s story:
At one time or another, we are all faced with a decision that will drastically change our lives forever. Sometimes we aren’t sure if these changes will be for better or for worse.
My husband Mark and I bought a small two-story town home after we had been married about six months. I was so thrilled I began transforming this house into our home. We only planned to live in this home for a few months and then sell it and buy a new one to begin our family. Apparently God had other plans.
One day I realized that there was a possibility that I might be pregnant. I waited a few weeks and then I was worried. This was terrible in my eyes. I could not have a baby now because I simply was not ready—not financially and certainly not emotionally. That night I prayed and told God that I thought a baby right now would be a mistake and I did not want to have one.
That same night I had a dream that would change my whole perspective on life. I dreamed I was in heaven dressed in white. I was talking with a distant voice, when I saw a beautiful young girl. She wore a white dress with an enormous white bow in her long dark hair, and she had the most beautiful brown eyes. I spoke to the voice and said, “Who is that little girl?”
The voice replied, “She is a spirit child waiting for her turn on earth.”
I then asked, “Well, if she is going to earth, shouldn’t she be happy? Why does this little girl look so sad?”
The distant voice answered, “She is upset because she sees how sad you are that she is coming.”
I woke up the next morning knowing that I had hurt my unborn child. The dream had such an impact on me, I begged God for forgiveness and told him to tell my daughter I wanted her and was waiting for her.
Several days later I found out I was not pregnant. Days went by and I became depressed. I felt that I had let my baby down.
Several weeks passed and I was sitting in my college history class, when I realized my right leg was numb. I became concerned and went right to the emergency center. I felt like something was really wrong. The doctor only told me what I already knew. I was losing the feeling in my leg and back. He referred me to a neurologist.
Within a week, I was in to a neurologist. Tests were conducted and I was shocked to find out that I had a disease called multiple sclerosis or MS. He also told me that I was pregnant.
My life seemed to be crumbling all around me. However, I still found comfort. And the doctor was satisfied that I was not in any real danger at the time.
Several weeks passed and I continued to get worse. Before long I could barely walk—even with the aid of a cane. My doctor became concerned that there was a chance I might have a tumor in my spinal cord, in which case I would need surgery immediately. He feared that if I had a tumor, there was a possibility that I would not make it through the pregnancy.
I was faced with the most difficult choice of my life. My doctors agreed I needed to do what was best for me—I needed to terminate the pregnancy. It might be in my best interest to try to get pregnant again later, after they knew I was okay.
I was devastated. I turned to my family and friends. Many felt that I should follow the counsel of my physicians. Others gave me my space and encouraged me to decide for myself.
I chose to have the baby. However, when I had the necessary tests to check for a tumor, I had to sign away the life of my child but I prayed with all of my heart that she would be protected. And she was. The test showed I did not have a tumor. I had MS.
My daughter was born a very healthy 6 pounds, 12 ounces. In spite of all of my fears, Brytnee has no medical problems.
God knew that I would have to be strong to withstand the hardships that lay ahead. I know that God held my daughter in the hollow of his hand and has always, always comforted me.